The moment when it seems like no one is listening

Introduction

In today's fast-paced world, it often feels like no one is truly listening. Conversations are frequently interrupted by the ping of notifications, and meaningful interactions are overshadowed by the constant buzz of social media and digital distractions. This lack of genuine listening can lead to misunderstandings, weakened relationships, and a sense of isolation.

Hearing vs. Listening 

It's important to distinguish between hearing and listening. Hearing is the physical act of perceiving sound while listening involves actively engaging with the speaker's message. For instance, when you're at a busy cafeteria, you might hear the background noise of the loud music (if you attend my school and you go to Jubilee cafeteria you should know what I am talking about), but if a friend is sharing something important with you, listening means focusing on their words and the emotions behind them.

Elements of the Listening Process

1. Hearing: The initial stage where sound waves are received by the ear.

2. Understanding: Comprehending the message being conveyed.

3. Remembering: Retaining the information for future reference.

4. Interpreting and Evaluating: Making sense of the message and assessing its significance or value.

5. Responding: Providing feedback or a reaction to the message.

Four Basic Types of Listening

1. Active (Reflective) Listening: Fully engaging with the speaker, showing empathy, and providing feedback. For example, nodding in agreement and paraphrasing what the speaker has said.

2. Passive (Attentive) Listening: Paying attention but without active engagement. For instance, listening to a lecture without engaging (interacting).

3. Competitive (Combative) Listening: Listening to find an opportunity to interject or argue. This often happens in debates or heated discussions.

4. Fraudulent Listening: Pretending to listen while actually thinking about something else. For example, nodding while daydreaming.

Barriers to Effective Listening

Several factors can prevent people from actively listening:

- Distractions: Both internal (thoughts and feelings) and external (noise and interruptions).

- Prejudices: Preconceived notions and biases about the speaker or the topic.

- Emotional Blocks: Strong emotions that interfere with the ability to listen objectively.

- Lack of Interest: Disinterest in the topic or the speaker.

- Information Overload: Being overwhelmed by too much information at once.

The Dangers of Not Actively Listening

Failing to actively listen can lead to serious consequences:

- Misunderstandings: Important details can be missed, leading to confusion.

- Damaged Relationships: People may feel undervalued or ignored.

- Poor Decision-Making: Lack of full understanding can result in poor choices.

- Increased Stress: Miscommunication can create unnecessary stress and conflict.

The Need to Listen for Mental Well-Being

Active listening is essential for mental well-being. It fosters meaningful connections, reduces feelings of loneliness, and enhances empathy. When people feel heard, they experience a sense of validation and support, which is crucial for emotional and mental health. By listening to others, we also gain diverse perspectives and insights, enriching our own understanding and fostering a more inclusive environment.

Strategies for Improving Listening Skills

1. Be Prepared to Listen: Clear your mind of distractions before engaging in a conversation.

2. Be Conscious: Stay present and focused on the speaker. Many of us have a habit of using our phones or doing something else while others are speaking. Since I started my study on active listening in my second year I have had to practice intentionally dropping my phone or books when someone was speaking to me. Be conscious! People know when you are listening and if you aren't they might still continue speaking but it hurts them.

3. Control Noise Sources: Minimize both internal and external distractions.

4. Avoid Prejudices: Approach conversations with an open mind.

5. Listen Actively: Engage with the speaker through feedback and questions.

6. Listen with Empathy: Try to understand the speaker's perspective and emotions.

7. Avoid Unnecessary Interruptions: Let the speaker finish their thoughts before responding.

Conclusion

By adopting these strategies, we can become better listeners, fostering deeper connections and improving our overall mental health. Let's commit to listening more attentively and empathetically, ensuring that everyone feels heard and valued. Be the change you want to see!

Food for Thought 

In today's distraction-filled world, active listening is more crucial than ever. True listening goes beyond hearing words; it's about understanding emotions and offering support.

Reflect on what prevents effective listening in your life. Are distractions or prejudices getting in the way? Recognizing these barriers is the first step to overcoming them.

Consider the types of listening you practice. Aim to be an active listener who engages fully with others. This can significantly improve your relationships and communication.

Remember, attentive listening enhances mental well-being by validating others' experiences and fostering a sense of support and belonging. Apply strategies like controlling distractions and listening with empathy to improve your skills. Your efforts will enrich your relationships and contribute to a more compassionate world.

Reference

Olutayo, G., Banji, T., Idowu-Faith, B., & Ayoola, K. (2022). Use of English Manual for Universities and Colleges (A Student-centred Approach) (2nd ed, pp. 33–42). Department of English. (Original work published 2017).

Embracing Stress: Navigating Challenges for Growth and Resilience Part 2

Introduction

Lately, I've noticed a positive shift in how I respond to chronic and negative stress. It's as though I've developed a heightened awareness, enabling me to recognise when I'm getting overwhelmed so I can take proactive steps to address it. This newfound ability has been transformative, allowing me to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and intentionality. 

In this eagerly awaited continuation of our journey from two weeks before, prepare to be enlightened once again. If you missed the previous blog post, I encourage you to catch up, as this instalment builds upon its rich tapestry of insights. As always, we'll maintain our engaging question-and-answer format, guiding you through a captivating exploration of mindfulness and resilience. So, let's dive in together and uncover the transformative power of awareness amidst life's challenges. 

Interviewer: How do you typically cope with stress? Do you have any go-to strategies or techniques that help you manage?

The Wellness Warrior: Personally recognizing stress involves self-awareness of both physical and emotional cues. For me, heightened stress often manifests as irritability, headache and stomach pain. To manage stress effectively, I employ various strategies such as crying, practising mindfulness or meditation on the word of God when taking a walk, seeking social support like talking to my sister, being with friends and listening to podcasts. Additionally, organising tasks and prioritising responsibilities help me regain a sense of control and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

Interviewer: How do you maintain a healthy work-life balance, especially when faced with multiple responsibilities or deadlines?

The Wellness Warrior: Maintaining a healthy work-life balance amidst multiple responsibilities involves setting priorities, delegating tasks, seeking help, and organising efficiently.

Firstly, prioritise tasks based on urgency and importance. It's crucial to acknowledge that juggling multiple responsibilities can be overwhelming. Recognize that not all tasks can be tackled simultaneously. Some require higher priority due to their significance and deadlines. I recommend creating a list of tasks in order of priority and tackling them from highest to lowest. This approach prevents confusion and ensures tasks are addressed effectively.

The golden rule amidst the hustle is to prioritise self-care and ensure adequate rest (this doesn't equate to procrastination). Taking care of yourself is paramount for maintaining productivity and well-being amidst a busy schedule.

Second, delegate tasks to trusted colleagues to prevent yourself from being overwhelmed.

Third, don't hesitate to seek assistance from colleagues, mentors, or professionals when needed.

Finally, organise your schedule using tools like calendars and to-do lists to manage deadlines and allocate time for both work and personal activities.

Interviewer: What common misconceptions about stress do you believe exist, and how do you personally address or refute them in your own life?

The Wellness Warrior: In my opinion, one common misconception about stress is that it is always harmful or detrimental to health. However, I challenge this belief by recognizing that stress can also serve as a motivational force, pushing me to overcome challenges and achieve goals. By reframing stress as a natural and sometimes even beneficial aspect of life, I am better able to cope with demanding situations and harness its positive aspects to drive personal growth and development.

Another misconception is that stress is solely caused by external factors and circumstances beyond our control. While external stressors certainly play a role, I believe that our mindset and perception of stress also significantly influence our experience. By adopting a more resilient mindset and practising mindfulness techniques, such as meditation on the word of God, I can better manage my response to stress and cultivate a sense of calmness and inner peace amidst life's challenges.

Furthermore, there is a misconception that stress is a sign of weakness or incompetence. However, I challenge this belief by recognizing that everyone experiences stress at various points in their lives, regardless of their abilities or strengths. Instead of viewing stress as a personal failure, I see it as a natural response to demanding situations and an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Overall, by challenging these misconceptions and adopting a more positive and empowered mindset towards stress, I am better equipped to navigate life's ups and downs with resilience and grace.

Conclusion

Stress is a multifaceted aspect of life that can either hinder or propel us forward, depending on how we perceive and manage it. By recognizing its potential as a motivator, understanding the role of mindset in shaping our experience, and reframing it as a natural part of the human experience, we can navigate life's challenges with resilience. Ultimately, by embracing a balanced perspective on stress, we can harness its power to drive personal growth and enhance our overall well-being.

Joanna. (2022, December 8). What is Negative Stress and Positive Stress? Healthier Steps. https://healthiersteps.com/what-is-negative-stress-and-positive-stress/#:~:text=Negative%20stress%20is%20the%20response%20we%20experience%20when

McEwen, B., & Sapolsky, R. (2006). Validate User. Academic.oup.com. https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/91/2/E2/2843213?login=false

Embracing Stress: Navigating Challenges for Growth and Resilience Part 1

 

Introduction

In this blog post, I'm opening up and sharing some insights I've gained from my recent experiences. I aim to connect with anyone feeling overwhelmed by the demands of school and responsibilities, offering guidance on how to destress and find some breathing room. The format will be question-and-answer, so stay tuned as we explore together. 

Interviewer: How do you personally interpret stress?

The Wellness Warrior: Stress means pressure or strain. It arises as the body reacts to difficult or demanding circumstances, involving a combination of physical, behavioural, and psychological responses (allostasis) to perceived challenges or pressures. It can manifest as sensations of tension, concern, or restlessness, frequently occurring alongside a feeling of being inundated by either external or internal stress factors. These manifestations are called stress response also known as allostasis.

Interviewer: Differentiate between negative and positive stress

The Wellness Warrior: Differentiating between negative stress (distress) and positive stress (eustress) involves assessing the impact on one's well-being and functioning. Positive stress can serve as a motivator, enhancing focus and productivity in response to challenges. However, when stress becomes negative, excessive or chronic, it can lead to burnout, anxiety, or depression. Monitoring physical and emotional symptoms, as well as evaluating the balance between stress and coping resources, can help individuals determine whether stress levels are manageable or require intervention.

In summary, while negative stress can have adverse effects on health and well-being, positive stress can catalyse growth and achievement when approached with resilience and effective coping strategies.

Interviewer: Give some examples of negative and positive stressors

The Wellness Warrior: Examples of negative stressors include financial problems, relationship conflicts, work pressure, or health concerns. As you continue reading, you'll delve into my encounter stemming from a negative stressor. Prolonged exposure to distress can have detrimental effects on physical and mental health, including increased risk of chronic conditions like heart disease, depression, and burnout.

Examples of eustressors include starting a new job, planning a wedding, participating in sports competitions, or pursuing personal growth opportunities. Unlike distress, eustress can enhance performance, boost resilience, and contribute to overall well-being when managed effectively.

Interviewer: Can you recall a recent situation where you felt particularly stressed? What were the main stressors in that situation?

The Wellness Warrior: I recently made a revealing discovery about myself: when I'm under stress, my irritability peaks. Here's the backstory: I've been deeply engaged in lab work for my project—a research endeavour examining how blood group influences renal function in young adults under exercise-induced stress. The prospect of contributing to advancements in medicine fills me with excitement. However, during the project, my team and I encountered numerous challenges, such as the sudden malfunction of our pulse oximeter. This setback led to delays, leaving several individuals waiting impatiently (some waited patiently) while we resolved the issue. My stressor stemmed from the perceived lack of organisation and the feeling that others were being inconvenienced. Regrettably, on that particular day, I lashed out at a friend. It was only afterwards that I realised the extent of my harsh reaction.

For the sake of knowledge, much like the irritability that marked my reaction, stress can manifest through various symptoms. Physically, it may lead to headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, diarrhoea, weakening of the immune system, and alterations in appetite or sleep patterns. On a psychological level, individuals might encounter anxiety, concentration difficulties, depression, insomnia, or feelings of helplessness. Moreover, behavioural cues such as heightened substance use, social withdrawal, or procrastination could signal heightened stress levels.

I'm not sure how prevalent it is, but I often find myself experiencing stomach pains during times of stress. Have you ever noticed a similar reaction in yourself?

Interviewer: What role do you think negative stress plays in your daily life? How does it affect your productivity, mood, and overall well-being?

The Wellness Warrior: Stress plays a significant role in my daily life, affecting various aspects of my well-being. When I'm under negative stress, I often find my productivity levels decrease as I struggle to concentrate and stay focused on tasks. Additionally, my mood tends to be more irritable and anxious, which can negatively impact my interactions with others and my overall enjoyment of daily activities. Furthermore, chronic stress can take a toll on my physical health, leading to symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue. Overall, managing stress is crucial for maintaining my productivity, mood, and overall well-being.

Conclusion

Allostasis to chronic stress in some individuals may pave the way for conditions like atherosclerosis, stroke, obesity, and diabetes. This emphasizes the urgent need for self-care. If there's one thing to take away from this write-up, it's this: you matter. Prioritizing self-care and self-love doesn't mean neglecting responsibilities but rather acknowledging your worth amidst them.

Keep an eye out for Part 2 as I delve into more questions about stress. I trust you found this as engaging to read as it was for me to write.

References

Joanna. (2022, December 8). What is Negative Stress and Positive Stress? Healthier Steps. https://healthiersteps.com/what-is-negative-stress-and-positive-stress/#:~:text=Negative%20stress%20is%20the%20response%20we%20experience%20when

McEwen, B., & Sapolsky, R. (2006). Validate User. Academic.oup.com. https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/91/2/E2/2843213?login=false

Joa

Anxiety and Anxiety Disorder Awareness: Helping Hands, Healing Hearts

Introduction

Welcome to Echoes of Silence. In this guide, we'll differentiate between everyday anxiety and anxiety disorders, offer practical tips on supporting those with anxiety disorders and explore valuable resources. Let's journey together towards understanding and healing. 

Read till the end to know the burdens on my heart for you or a friend struggling with this disorder.

Story Time

In bustling Lagos, Ngozi grapples with anxiety. Initially, it's just pre-meeting jitters or social worries. But over six months, it worsens. Daily tasks trigger panic attacks. She withdraws from loved ones. Finally, she seeks help and discovers it's not just everyday anxiety—it's a disorder. This story highlights the importance of recognising when anxiety crosses the line and seeking professional support.

Difference Between Everyday Anxiety and Anxiety Disorder

Feeling anxious from time to time doesn’t mean you have an anxiety disorder. Remember that anxiety is a natural and universal human response. It is a feeling or worry about future events. For example; that uneasy feeling that you have before a big test or meeting new people or that jittery feeling and restlessness that you experience while waiting for important news. Anxiety is characterized by stress, worry, tension and alertness.

Let us deviate for a bit and answer the question: How does it differ from fear? 

Fear is a response to an immediate threat or danger, such as encountering a wild animal or even a cockroach for some ladies like myself or being in a dangerous situation like being robbed at night or having a gun pointed at your head. Anxiety is caused by focusing on events that are yet to happen. 

What is an anxiety disorder? 

People may use the word “anxiety” more often to refer to anxiety disorder which is what I knew it as before I embarked on this study. Regardless, anxiety disorder goes beyond the typical anxiousness. Anxiety disorders are diagnosed by a mental health professional based on specific criteria. I identified types of anxiety disorders last week. Now let us contrast between everyday anxiety and anxiety disorders:

Aspect	Everyday Anxiety	Anxiety Disorder
Duration	Short-lived, temporary (lasts only as long as the specific stressor or problem persists)	Persistent, lasting for at least 6 months
Severity	Mild to moderate	Severe, often debilitating
Triggers	Typically proportional to specific events or situations	Can occur without specific triggers or in response to minor stressors
Impact on Functioning	Minimal interference with daily activities	Significant disruption to work, relationships, and daily life
Physical Symptoms	Occasional mild physical symptoms (e.g., sweating, rapid heartbeat, muscle tension or dry mouth)	Intense and frequent physical manifestations (e.g., panic attacks, headaches or muscle soreness) in addition to the symptoms of regular anxiety
Seeking Help	Often manageable without professional intervention. Coping strategies like deep breathing, and relaxation techniques are usually effective	Requires professional help for accurate diagnosis and treatment (therapy, medication)

How to help people with anxiety disorder

1. Educate yourself: To better comprehend what they are going through and to be prepared in the event of a panic attack or incapacitating withdrawal, educate yourself on the signs and causes of anxiety disorders. 

2. Offer Support: Be patient, empathetic, and non-judgmental. Encourage open communication and validate their feelings.

3. Listen Actively: Give them your undivided attention while they share their worries and anxieties. They feel as though their value has been acknowledged as a result. 

4. Encourage treatment: It is important to get professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in anxiety disorders, even though you might be able to assist them to some extent by researching the disease. One way to reassure them that everything will be alright is to go with them to the appointment when possible.

5. Practice self-care: In addition to making every effort to support a loved one, you should practise self-care to look after yourself. Only when you are in good bodily and mental health will you be able to assist them as best you can. Try exercises, relaxation techniques and healthy lifestyle habits.

6. Set limitations: Recognise your boundaries. Not all of their issues can be resolved by you. Promote self-help, but know when to seek expert assistance. Always seek out expert assistance. 

7. Express Concern: Even while you might be unable to lessen the severity of a panic attack, you could still be there and offer comfort. Express concern as soon as you notice them stepping away from things they used to enjoy doing or that are necessary for their future. For example; I've seen that you no longer engage in this pastime, which you used to adore and which is crucial to your development. Please tell me what's wrong and confide in me. You'll return to active listening by doing this. 

In Nigeria, several organisations provide support for individuals dealing with anxiety disorders:

1. Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI): MANI is a non-profit organisation dedicated to promoting mental health awareness and providing support for those affected by mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders. They offer 24/7 helplines, online support groups, and educational resources. Their platform is a valuable resource for those seeking help and information. For more information, you can visit the MANI website. If you or someone you know needs assistance, consider reaching out to MANI.

2. Therapy Apps: Mobile applications like Psycare, HelplineNG, and Talkspace offer convenient access to therapy and mental health support services for individuals dealing with anxiety disorders in Nigeria.

3. The Olive Prime Psychological Services: This mental health facility provides a range of services, including individual and group therapy, psychiatric assessments, and counselling for individuals dealing with anxiety disorders. They have branches in Lagos, Abuja, and other major cities in Nigeria.

In addition to organisations, there are valuable resources for understanding and managing anxiety disorders. Some helpful ones are:

1. Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): They offer videos, blog posts, webinars, tips for managing stress and anxiety, screening tools, and more. They also provide a wealth of resources related to Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Access their helpful resources.

2. Other Resources: Check out resources from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) or the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

Burdens on my heart

It weighs heavily on my heart to know that while these resources can offer support, true healing often requires more than just human intervention. Without the guidance of the Great Physician, our efforts may fall short. I don't aim to impose my beliefs on you, but I feel compelled to share the truth I've found in Jesus Christ. He offers healing for all ailments, including anxiety disorders. By embracing His life and claiming His promises of healing through faith, we can experience breakthroughs, whether instant or gradual. Delving into His teachings, found in the Bible, can gradually ease our worries. While seeking professional help and medication are valid options, placing our trust solely in them overlooks the ultimate healer, Jesus Christ, who offers more than physical restoration—he offers salvation for the soul.

My three favourite scriptures that assure the new man (female or male born again) in Christ of healing are:

Matthew 8:17 (AMP)- so that He fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah: “He Himself took our infirmities [upon Himself] and carried away our diseases.”

1 Peter 2:24 (NKJV)- who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you WERE healed. (emphasis added)

Isaiah 53:5 (NKJV)- But He was wounded for our transgressions,

He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,

And by His stripes, we ARE healed. (emphasis added)

Hallelujah, it is a done deal. Don’t hope for healing. Claim your healing if you are in Christ.

References

Dibdin, E. (2021, September 14). How to Help Someone with Anxiety: 6 Ways. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety#listen

Lindberg, S. (2023). How to Help a Friend or Loved One With Anxiety. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety-5089005

McGuire, J. (2020). How to Help Someone with Anxiety. Hopkins Medicine. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety

Pugle, M. (2024, March 25). Anxious or Anxiety Disorder? Here’s How to Tell the Difference. EverydayHealth.com. https://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety-disorders/are-you-just-feeling-anxious-or-do-you-have-an-anxiety-disorder/#anxiousness

Telloian, C. (2021, November 17). Anxious vs. Anxiety: When Does Anxiety Become a Problem? Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/anxious-vs-anxiety#anxiety-vs-anxiousness